Is it possible to feel disconnected in a family or within our “tribe?” The answer most certainly is a resounding yes. We can feel alone in a marriage, alone amidst a group of friends, alone in an office filled with co workers. Aloneness is a state of mind determined by our experience and interpretation of the feeling.
As human beings we are hard wired to connect. Are you keeping yourself separate and distant? Have you created situations where you are not approachable? Do you engage others and ask questions about their lives or wait for people to come to you? Are you worthy of friends? (THE all time deeply embedded question – THE answer YES everyone is worthy!)
We spend an enormous amount time trying to decipher genuine attachment. Billions of words, hundreds of thousands of metaphors, journals, magazines, television shows, movies, novels all focused on explaining human connection. There are thousands of scientific studies attempting to fully describe the feeling of connecting to another person at a deep, meaningful, enthralling, intoxicating level.
To attempt to understand our own experience of bonding with others, we must cease the pervasive analysis, dissection and constant comparison to others. Our experiences are as unique to us as we are exponentially unique among the masses.
I cherish friends and try to make them an important part of my life. I find it useless to meet and great dear friends with “How are you.” “Great, how are you?” I really want to say, “Really, how are you today?” and give them the space to tell me. Distance comes in the friendship or in the marriage when they ask and I don’t offer them the truth. I love taking walks with friends and dear ones. It gives us time to talk about more important things spinning around in our heads. Give time to those you love and to those you with whom you want to forge a stronger bond. We all have time for those things we deem important……….if people are important to me, I make time for them and when you don’t make time for me, well – I get the message.
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